Help, help, and help

M

Miss Perspicacia Tick

I have a very serious alcohol and narcotics addiction problems. I am not
able to use my computer properly. How do I find where all the keys are
on my keyboard? Oh! my crystal ball is on the blink. Oh, hang on,
if I strain really hard (I shouldn't really, it gives me a migraine).

Help, help, and help!!!
 

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