Access 97 Security

[dbahooker]

(1) Access 97 is not a virus protection product.
MDB IS A DISEASE
EXCEL IS ALSO


(2) Access 97 is not a security patch to MS Windows.
ACCESS 97 IS VULNERABLE DIPSHIT


(3) There is no conceivable relationship between the current WMF
vulnerability (if that's what you're talking about), and Microsoft
Access - 97 or otherwise.
I'M TALKING ABOUT THE GIF VULN, NOT WMF


TC [MVP Access]

 

[dbahooker]

MDB is an obsolete technology.

use Access Data Projects; you dont need to link or refresh or jerk
around with any of this crap.

MDB is DED

 

[doodle]

The problem is that it is not my server. It is on a server that belongs
to another entity because I also store tons of pictures with it and
they have the room. (I store only the paths in the db). - anyway, this
person does not want to give access to everyone. I have tried to
explain it - it would be easier for me to by a new server than attempt
to convince this person that changing the rights is not a big deal.

maybe they are right, it might be easier to quit.

thanks for your help (and entertainment)

-doodle

 

[TC]

thanks [dbahooker] for your help (and entertainment)

It's entertainment that gets very old, very quickly! It takes time to
repond to his inaccuracies & bad advice. I'd rather spend that time,
answering questions

Does Joan's answer help wih your problem?

TC [MVP Access]

 

[kakha Sikharulidze]

Okay, so to get back to the subject, I have front ends local, utility
to update, tables on the network and from what everyone is saying -
everyone that views the tables needs Write access on the server, even
the ones that will not be updating them, and there is no way around it.

Also, hooker, I use Access 97 because that is what the people that pay
me have and want me to use.

-doodle

 

[dbahooker]

bad advice?

I QUESTION THE USE OF OBSOLETE TECHNOLOGY

MDB IS DEAD AND I WOULD RATHER BITCH AND MOAN ABOUT IT THEN YOU LET
NEWBIES STUCK IN DEAD-END CAREER PATHS.

DOING MDB IS NOT FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY.
MDB IS CRAP IT IS UNRELIABLE: MICROSOFT ISN'T MAKING THE RIGHT
DECISIONS AND NEITHER ARE YOU KIDS

don't you wish your database query engine would WORK?

don't you wish that you didnt have to reboot File Servers ALL THE TIME
because MDB is a pain?

don't you wish that you didnt have to link and refresh and DSN or
DSNLESS
you dont have to google connections strings; you dont have to use an
object model (DAO) that is buggy as all hell

you kids are crazy

 

[jaydeflix]

(e-mail address removed) scribbled:

I QUESTION THE USE OF OBSOLETE TECHNOLOGY

That's nice. Are you going to buy everyone who posts here using Access
97 a copy of Access 2003, or would you rather berate everyone who
doesn't have the income stream to upgrade software and possibly
hardware?

Personally, I question your ability to hold a decent conversation
without getting angry. Are you going to be at the Access users group
meeting this Tuesday?

 

[TC]

You want to MEET with him?

Good luck! Take your earplugs.

TC [MVP Access]

 

[dbahooker]

i believe that there are PLENTY of free alternatives

i would rather you REALIZE the security risks from running unsupported
software

and you sit there and bitch and moan about compatability problems; i
mean shit this; in the era where Access 2000 needs a special patch to
work with SQL 2000 (because office was 'too old' when it came out to
support sql 2000-- i mean DUH

i KNOW that there are free products out there. I know of a dozen of
them personally.

And I have worked in Access 97 environments.

I've also worked in environments where people hit the 2 GB LIMIT IN
EXCEL
those sort of people should be SHOT

i dont believe that MDB is the right product for anyone ever or
anywhere. MDB is obsolete; you spend 1/2 of your time running around
WORKAROUND AFTER WORKAROUND.

i mean-- you build a query on top of a query and PRESTO CHANGE-O YOUR
QUERY STOPS WORKING???
THAT IS WHAT I'VE SEEN FROM ACCESS

I've slaved hours and hours and hours trying to troubleshoot the
simplest 'the recordset is not updateable'

and i just dont have these types of VOMIT in Access Data Projects.

i believe that MSDE--- freeware SQL Server-- is a much much much better
use of your time and efforts. Or VB 2005 and SQL 2005 Express. I
mean-- they're free.
Or _LINUX_ has some good IDE and apps that are kinda like access.

just for christ sakes; whatever you do-- stop keeping your data in an
INSECURE UNRELIABLE PIECE OF SHIT DATABASE FORMAT.

if you sit around and write code for a living-- if you're building
access professionally.. are you really trying to tell me that you can't
afford the $100 price for Access 2003 upgrade?

if you can't afford $100 then you are a bad programmer and you should
go back to something else.

-Aaron

 

[dbahooker]

a decent conversation lol
without getting angry?

IF YOU'RE NOT PISSED OFF THEN YOU HAVEN'T BEEN PAYING ATTENTION

i just want answers on shit in access.

i want to know when they're going to fix bugs.

a) CREATE PROC SPHAPPY
1. open up query analyzer and 'create proc sphappy as select * from
sysobjects'
2. open up an ADP and edit the sproc; change a couple of columns
3. save changes you get error vomit 'the parameter is incorrect'

b) queries on top of queries in MDB
1. it is completely unpredictable and unUSEABLE to rely on MDB for
anything
2. query on top of query shouldn't mean 'oh shit i have to use a
temp table here because mdb sucks beans'

c) random locking problems with MDB
1. 5 people using access across a network (frontends on local
machine backends on network)
2. one of them gets a locking error
3. one of them has AWFUL performance problems
4. and you have to run around and ask all 5 of them to get out of
the app so that you can reboot the server

d) recordset instability.
1. you can bind a form or report to a _recordset_
2. but it's not stable
3. who the **** do these poeple think that they are? selling shit
like this?

e) importing data from excel
1. most unreliable technology EVER
2. half the time it WORKS the other half it crashes your machine
3. you dont have enough control over how shit works
4. importing data in 'scientific notation'

f) Access Runtime
1. i want to hear from the horses mouth EXACTLY how much it would
cost for me to use ART for a company of 30 people.
2. detailed step by step instructions
3. why isn't Access runtime included with every other version of
office than pro?

g) Access Snapsot
1. I want to know why Microsoft changes direction every year
2. SNP for 5 years
3. then XML
4. then Microsoft Document Imaging
5. and now PDF?

WHO THE **** DO YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE MICROSOFT?
DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT YOU CAN CHANGE OUR TECHNOLOGY EVERY YEAR? WHAT
ABOUT EXISTING REPORTS??

WILL MICROSOFT MAKE A SNP-> PDF converter?

will Microsoft include a MDI to PDF CONVERTER?

i mean JESUS is this really how you guys do business?


h) reporting on OLAP data
1. excel doesn't cut the beans for making printed olap reports
a) fixed-width printing isn't POSSIBLE in Excel
b) pivotTables don't cut the cheese for everything
2. i want to know why i can't currently report on OLAP data in ADP
or MDB
3. Crystal Reports has let me do this since day one.

i) importing ADP reports into SQL Server Reporting Services
1. Why doesn't it work
2. Why didnt it occur to redmond to TEST THIS
3. WHO DO YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE MAKING US REWRITE REPORTS BY HAND
EVERY TIME?

i) ACCESS DATA PROJECTS
1. When is someone from Microsoft going to talk to me about ADP
SQL 2005 connectivity?
2. When is Microsoft going to make an announcment about the next
version of ADP?
3. When is the SQL Server 2005 PATCH for Access Data Projects
going to be released

J) OFFICE RELEASE DATE
1. I dont care who or why or when
2. I'm getting ready for a large Office 03 migration
3. When is office 2006 coming out? Does Redmond really need to be
so SECRETIVE about this?

K) PUBLIC BUG FORUM - we find them you fix them Microsoft
1. Since Microsoft is a bunch of drunk assholes that can't count
2. Where can i submit bugs (in Access of course) in order to get
action
3. Microsoft doesn't listen to dollars (I'm probably their best
salesperson anywhere-- as a isv)
4. Microsoft doesn't listen to bitching (I'm probably the only
person that told Microsoft 'you can do better')
5. I want the hard hand of the Justice Department to hit the shit
out of Microsoft for selling BUGGY SOFTWARE.
6. Can RALPH NADER do something about the evil forces in Redmond??
7. Should I pray to ALLAH that Redmond get struck from the face of
the planet?

I probably won't go to the access users group meeting. I was trying to
get my friend into access but he went the .NET route instead and it's
not like i learned anything there.
And i've got other shit to worry about; i've got usability questions
and shit like that..

i mean-- the other day i asked about a sharepoint CRASH in msaccess..
it didnt help me that much
I had a project where i had to push records through a MDB into
Sharepoint.

Access _CRASHED_ and i couldn't get any sort of help.

I call up MS Support and they spend 4 hours deciding whether it is a
Sharepoint or an Access crash.
They spent 4 hours asking me the same goddamn question OVER AND OVER
AGAIN.

START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY
START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY
START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY
START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY
START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY
START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY
START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY
START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY
START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY
START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY
START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY
START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY
START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY
START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY
START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY
START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY
START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY
START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY
START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY
START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY
START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY
START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY
START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY
START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY
START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY
START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY
START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY
START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY
START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY
START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY
START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY
START HIRING PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH YOU STUPID FUCKING COMPANY


It's like-- I dont give a flying **** what kindof crash it is; I just
need Microsoft to fix it.

And now? Now i've got bigger fish to fry; i'll hopefully never use MDB
in my life.

 

[jaydeflix]

(e-mail address removed) scribbled:

if you sit around and write code for a living-- if you're building
access professionally.. are you really trying to tell me that you can't
afford the $100 price for Access 2003 upgrade?

if you can't afford $100 then you are a bad programmer and you should
go back to something else.

$100 _per license_.
Plus hardware upgrades required to run Access 2003.
Plus $179 to upgrade to Windows XP if you are not currently running it.
Plus hardware upgrades required to run Windows XP.

You've been employed by a large company, Aaron. You should recognize
that it also isn't what the *developer* can afford. It is what the
company can afford. And what the company will pay for.

As for the free options, why not direct people, politely, to these
third party options that are free. Oh, and I would recommend pointing
them to any training/faqs/help documents regarding those options too,
not to mention any support forums for those products.

 

[TC]

Q.E.D. !!

TC [MVP Access]

 

[TC]

b) queries on top of queries in MDB
2. query on top of query shouldn't mean 'oh shit i have to use a
temp table here because mdb sucks beans'

As I have told you repeatedly: you are the only person who has problems
with queries. None of the rest of us have problems with queries. Your
problems with queries are because you don't know how to write them
properly. The probem is not with the tool. The problem is your personal
incompetence in using it.

TC [MVP Access]

 

[dbahooker]

you guys are just too ingrained with workarounds

just because there ARE workarounds it doesn't mean that crappy buggy
software is acceptable.

we shoudln't have to push everything into a temp table every 5 minutes.

 

[dbahooker]

and just for the record TC; i can write queries; functions-- on MDB or
in SQL-- much much better than any MVP i've ever seen.

you know why I dont have an MVP?

BECAUSE I QUESTION GROUPTHINK

Mdb _LOST_ the war and you guys are stuck fighting for the wrong side.

 

[doodle]

I can't get the server owner to budge. I think I am just going to use
Tony's utility to copy the tables and front end for read only users.
Thanks for your help all.

doodle

 

[aaron.kempf]

i would reccomend not using tony's utility.

he is a MDB sissy and can't be trusted with anything.

i mean.. seriously here

would you trust a tv-repair man that was only certified in black and
white TVs?

would you trust a MCSE to come in and fix active directory who passed
it on NT4 and hadn't used Windows 2000 or 2003 or XP ever?

Tony is diseased; lazy and obsolete.

much like MDB.

grow up; stop using Access 97; you're a spaz